2011, 02-28:
Review of film: “BEASTLY”
His FACE Is, but the Movie ISN’T
Rob (PETER KRAUSE) is a well-known & rich TV broadcaster. He’s gotten where he is on his good looks, & his mantra is that you need to be GREAT-LOOKING & surround yourself with similar people…
… His son, Kyle (ALEX PETTYFER), has FOLLOWED in his dad’s mis-steps in that regard, & (likewise) acts like an arrogant ass…
… Alex is very “open” in his attitude, & declares his belief that people need to be particularly ATTRACTIVE physically during his campaign to be a Class President at a fancy private high school in the New York area…
… While much of the school is “awed” with his conceits (including his attitude that people “suck” if they’re not beautiful), he does not really impress a pretty girl Lindy (VANESSA HUDGENS) who is running for a lower office & who he’s never bothered to really talk to in her 3 years at the school…
… Further, his condescensions and thoughtless treatment deeply antagonizes a Goth-like girl named Kendra (MARY-KATE OLSEN). When he goes out of his way to be hurtful to her, she puts a CURSE on him:
… To teach him a lesson, Alex loses his head hair & he becomes downright “BEASTLY” -- with ugly red gouges in his face + upraised spider-like VEINS & “vine” designs there & elsewhere on his body… And, above his left eye, there’s an apropos tattoo etching of the word “SUCK”…
… Yes, it’s a “take-off” on the “BEAUTY & THE BEAST” story, & Alex gets very depressed & angry when his “six-pack” becomes a “broken case”… His dad takes him to doctors, but when he learns they can’t do anything to help his condition, he puts Alex in an out-of-the-way location & basically SHUNS him…
… Alex is given just the help of a Caribbean housekeeper named Zola (LISA GAY HAMILTON) who Alex has been unkind to as long as he’s known her, + a tutor named Will (NEIL PATRICK HARRIS). Neil is blind & takes no “guff” from Alex, since he’s unwilling to indulge someone who’s already clearly badly SPOILED & uncaring about the people & world around him…
… Alex had been told by Mary-Kate that the only way she’d remove the curse from him is if he found someone who’d sincerely say she LOVES & kisses him within 1 year… There are precious few “candidates” for that role, but Alex hesitantly goes after Vanessa…
… She has grown up with a druggie father (-- sort of the “modern” touch to the old story! --), & Alex gets her father to let him care for Vanessa since the dad is clearly incapable of doing that properly…
… Alex is timid about even letting Vanessa SEE him at first. But, eventually, he follow’s Neil’s straightforward advise, “listens” to her, & eventually starts becoming more THOUGHTFUL towards her (& others). Eventually, following the other “contemporary” touch of being “Green”, he even tries building her a GREENHOUSE with pretty flowers…
… Will Alex start to truly change INSIDE as a person?... Will Vanessa be able to NOT see Alex as “Beastly”?... Will Alex’s Dad ever reconcile with him?... Will Alex be able to find someone who’ll truly LOVE him & be able to break the SPELL he’s under?...
… Althought the writing is often fairly weak, it’s nevertheless a cute little story. NEIL has the best “lines” in the film-- clever, funny & well-delivered… The other major actors do well with the sort of “partially-deveveloped” characters they’re given to play… (Alex is better & has more to “do” in his “I AM NUMBER 4” role…)
… Accordingly, since it’s enjoyable in a “light” way, I’m rating it as 7 out of 10 stars…
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