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2010, 04-02:
Review of film: “THE TWILIGHT SAGA (2): NEW MOON”
Director:
Writer:
Starring:
Kristen Stewart Taylor Lautner Robert Pattinson Billy Burke Ashley Greene Anna Kendrick Christian Serratos Michael Welch Justin Chon
MPAA Rating:
PG-13 for some violence and action.
Quotes:
“I’m 109.”
“Bella, the only thing that can hurt me is YOU.”
“You’re my only reason to stay alive.”
“You just don’t BELONG in my world…”
“You’re not good for me.”
“… what’s best for you…”
“He wants to kiss her without bleeding.”
“What a marshmallow.”
“We can’t be friends any more.”
“I used to be a good kid. Not anymore.”
“You’re the vampire girl.”
‘You’re not the first masters I’ve met.”
“It’s not a lifestyle choice.”
“What if I got mad at you?”
“I just couldn’t live in a world where you don’t exist.”
“How can you stand to be so close to her?”
“You can’t hurt each other without hurting ME.”
MY Rating:
6 of 10 stars (based on a DVD projection at a library of the 130-minute film).
SIGHS & GASPS: “Smoldering” without any “SMOLD”…
As I’ve stated before, I’m NOT any great fan of the “Vampire” genre in general. I did not see the first film in the series, so I judged this second one on its “own”. As you can see, I wasn’t very favorably impressed:
… Prior to this sequel, a girl named Bella Swan (KRISTEN STEWART) had been attacked by vampires who almost killed her. Here, she’s “recovering”, & her father Charlie (BILLY BURKE) tries to help her celebrate her 18th birthday…
... Later, she spends time with her overly-talkative friend Jessica (ANNA KENDRICK, who subsequently was nominated for a Supporting Actress Oscar for “UP IN THE AIR”)…
… Previously, Kristen had “fallen” for cute vampire Edward Cullen (ROBERT PATTINSON). His sister Alice (ASHLEY GREENE) works to be Kristen’s friend, & prepares a big Birthday celebration for her with lots of people in the Cullen clan…
… During the party, Kristen accidentally suffers a paper cut, & the sight of blood leads to a lust-filled attack by Jasper Hale (JACKSON RATHBONE), the newest member of the extended family. That worries Robert, & he feels Kristen will be in danger as long as his group is around her, & -- to her great disappointment -- he decides it’s best that he (& his kin) LEAVE her & the whole Forks area…
… After the departure of the Cullens, she gets increasingly close to her childhood friend Jacob Black (hunky TAYLOR LAUTNER), eventually going to him for help in rebuilding some motorcycles… While he appears warm & generally “loving”, as was the case with Robert, there’s mostly a gaggle of “SIGHING” & “GASPING” that goes on between & “around” them…
… Things grow even worse for Kristen’s emotional state when Taylor starts to “DISTANCE” himself from her, again, supposedly for her “sake” (& safety)… In time, she learns it’s because he & his friends are really WEREWOLVES, & thus mortal enemies of the vampire group she’s so fond of…
… Angst continues rearing it’s ugly (& usually tedious) head, with Robert trying to protect Kristen via “wispy” appearances while he’s trying to deal with some “big-shot” Volturi vampires headed by Aro (MICHAEL SHEEN) who want to control everyone & keep threatening Kristen & those who try to defend her…
… Will Robert be able to really PROTECT Kristen?… Will she be able to effectively “mediate” between Robert & Taylor, & which one will she “CHOOSE” as her favorite?… Will anything be really “SOLVED” by the characters “bubbling” around in this sequel?…
… If you like “love” stories where almost nothing is “accomplished” between the main characters, you will LOVE this film: There are so many going-nowhere glances of “longing”, they should be called “SHORTING” in this case… That’s why I described their “smoldering” looks as lacking “smold”…
… If you like inconclusive ends (that are a clear “set-up” for the NEXT sequel), this movie will thrill you… If you get a kick out of being BORED, you’ve come to the right place… A line from the movie sort of “sums-up” what I felt about sitting thru it: “I have never met anyone more prone to life-threatening IDIOCY.”
… Given the sadly weak script, the actors do what they “CAN” with what they’ve signed-on for (tho the periodic mumbling seems their own "choice” in certain cases)…
... There are some decent (tho few & far-between) SPECIAL EFFECTS (particularly re the morphing of Taylor’s tribe into werewolves)… But, overall, TEDIUM is the Medium here…
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