Review of film: “THE TWILIGHT SAGA (2): NEW MOON”

2010, 04-02:

Review of film:  “THE TWILIGHT SAGA (2):  NEW MOON”

           

Director:

Chris Weitz

Writer:

Melissa Rosenberg (screenplay)Stephenie Meyer (novel)

Starring:

Kristen Stewart Taylor Lautner Robert Pattinson Billy Burke Ashley Greene Anna Kendrick Christian Serratos Michael Welch Justin Chon

Christina Jastrzembska Jackson Rathbone

Russell Roberts Michael Sheen Jamie Campbell Bower

Christopher Heyerdahl

MPAA Rating:

PG-13 for some violence and action.

Quotes:

“I’m 109.”

“Bella, the only thing that can hurt me is YOU.”

“You’re my only reason to stay alive.”

“You just don’t BELONG in my world…”

“You’re not good for me.”

“… what’s best for you…”

“He wants to kiss her without bleeding.”

“What a marshmallow.”

“We can’t be friends any more.”

“I used to be a good kid. Not anymore.”

“You’re the vampire girl.”

‘You’re not the first masters I’ve met.”

“It’s not a lifestyle choice.”

“What if I got mad at you?”

“I just couldn’t live in a world where you don’t exist.”

“How can you stand to be so close to her?”

“You can’t hurt each other without hurting ME.”

MY Rating:

6 of 10 stars (based on a DVD projection at a library of the 130-minute film).

                SIGHS & GASPS:  “Smoldering” without any “SMOLD”…

As I’ve stated before, I’m NOT any great fan of the “Vampire” genre in general.  I did not see the first film in the series, so I judged this second one on its “own”.  As you can see, I wasn’t very favorably impressed:

…  Prior to this sequel, a girl named Bella Swan (KRISTEN STEWART) had been attacked by vampires who almost killed her.  Here, she’s “recovering”, & her father Charlie (BILLY BURKE) tries to help her celebrate her 18^th birthday… 

...  Later, she spends time with her overly-talkative friend Jessica (ANNA KENDRICK, who subsequently was nominated for a Supporting Actress Oscar for “UP IN THE AIR”)…

…  Previously, Kristen had “fallen” for cute vampire Edward Cullen (ROBERT PATTINSON).  His sister Alice (ASHLEY GREENE) works to be Kristen’s friend, & prepares a big Birthday celebration for her with lots of people in the Cullen clan…

…  During the party, Kristen accidentally suffers a paper cut, & the sight of blood leads to a lust-filled attack by Jasper Hale (JACKSON RATHBONE), the newest member of the extended family.  That worries Robert, & he feels Kristen will be in danger as long as his group is around her, & --  to her great disappointment --  he decides it’s best that he (& his kin) LEAVE her & the whole Forks area…

…  After the departure of the Cullens, she gets increasingly close to her childhood friend Jacob Black (hunky TAYLOR LAUTNER), eventually going to him for help in rebuilding some motorcycles…  While he appears warm & generally “loving”, as was the case with Robert, there’s mostly a gaggle of “SIGHING” & “GASPING” that goes on between & “around” them…

…  Things grow even worse for Kristen’s emotional state when Taylor starts to “DISTANCE” himself from her, again, supposedly for her “sake” (& safety)…  In time, she learns it’s because he & his friends are really WEREWOLVES, & thus mortal enemies of the vampire group she’s so fond of…

…  Angst continues rearing it’s ugly (& usually tedious) head, with Robert trying to protect Kristen via “wispy” appearances while he’s trying to deal with some “big-shot” Volturi vampires headed by Aro (MICHAEL SHEEN) who want to control everyone & keep threatening Kristen & those who try to defend her…

…  Will Robert be able to really PROTECT Kristen?…  Will she be able to effectively “mediate” between Robert & Taylor, & which one will she “CHOOSE” as her favorite?…  Will anything be really “SOLVED” by the characters “bubbling” around in this sequel?…

…  If you like “love” stories where almost nothing is “accomplished” between the main characters, you will LOVE this film:  There are so many going-nowhere glances of “longing”, they should be called “SHORTING” in this case…  That’s why I described their “smoldering” looks as lacking “smold”…

…  If you like inconclusive ends (that are a clear “set-up” for the NEXT sequel), this movie will thrill you…  If you get a kick out of being BORED, you’ve come to the right place…  A line from the movie sort of “sums-up” what I felt about sitting thru it: “I have never met anyone more prone to life-threatening IDIOCY.”

…  Given the sadly weak script, the actors do what they “CAN” with what they’ve signed-on for (tho the periodic mumbling seems their own "choice” in certain cases)… 

...  There are some decent (tho few & far-between) SPECIAL EFFECTS (particularly re the morphing of Taylor’s tribe into werewolves)…  But, overall, TEDIUM is the Medium here…

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Review of film: “ST. JOHN OF LAS VEGAS”

2010, 01-26;  Reviewed 02-10-10:

Review of film:  “ST. JOHN OF LAS VEGAS”

Director:

Hue Rhodes

Writer:

Hue Rhodes

Starring:

Steve Buscemi

Romany Malco

Sarah Silverman

Peter Dinklage

Tim Blake Nelson

John Cho                 

Emmanuelle Chriqui

Aviva

Isabel Archuleta

Josh Berry

Lucas CorVatta

Gorneth D'Oyley

Stephen Eiland

Jesse Garcia

MPAA Rating:

R for language and some nudity.

Quotes:

[Tagline in ad:]  “…There’s more than one way to hit the jackpot in life.”

“Good times.”

“I used to be lucky.”

“I have the best seat in the house.”

“We’re in the business of NOT paying fraudulent claims.”

“It’s one hell of a ride.”

“Yeah--  I’m a ‘lonely’ guy, looking for happiness.”

“Same thing.”

“That was quick.”

“I am not lucky.”

MY Rating:

6 of 10 stars (based on an advance screening of the 85-minute film).

There’s NOT much “Sin” in the “City” (or in the Country, for that matter)…

I can sum up this movie in three words:  NOTHING much “happens”…  For those of you eager for more details, here they are:

…  Compulsive gamblers can find far wiser places to live than Las Vegas.  But, that describes John (STEVE BUSCEMI) & where he used to live.  After a period of especially bad luck, he decides to try living a more normal life, and leaves Vegas for Albuquerque, New Mexico--  still gambling via loads of LOTTERY tickets bought at convenience stores as he drives around…

…  Thinking it could be helpful to have a reasonably “stable” job, he takes one in an auto insurance company--  & isn’t very successful at avoiding the regular temptations of constantly-available LOTTO tickets around town… 

…  At one point, Steve’s boss, Mr. Townsend (PETER DINKLAGE), asks him to join Virgil (ROMANY MALCO)  -- his main fraud-exposer -- in investigating an expected “ripoff” accident claim concerning a 1970 Buick Wildcat in the Vegas area…

…  Steve is NOT eager to go back to Sin City, because of dual temptations: the omnipresent gambling opportunities there, & the fear of leaving (& possibly losing) a new romance he has in ‘Querque with a nutty colleague in his office named Jill (SARAH SILVERMAN)…

…  As fate (& Indie features) would have it, Steve & Romany meet a bunch of “eccentric” characters as they do their investigating, including the suspected fraudster herself, stripper “Tasty D Lite” (EMMANUELLE CHRIQUI), who’s confined to a wheelchair… 

…  Romany is in tight control of the purse-strings on the trip, & very “tight” with those strings as Steve tries to get “per-diem” payments.  It seems sort of “odd” that Romany wants inexperienced STEVE to be the “lead” at doing the “grunt” work in their research…

…  Some of the other “unusual” people they meet include a militaristic guy named Ned (TIM BLAKE NELSON) who likes going around NAKED at a fiery “gate” in the desert, a Ranger in a park (JESSE GARCIA), and a “hot” guy playing a “Human TORCH” in a carnival (JOHN CHO…

…  Romany’s supposed to be the “lead” in the car crash research, but Steve finally starts becoming “self-confident” (and/or “disgusted”) & takes the lead in the matter… 

…  But questions keep arising, such as:  WHY is Romany having Steve be the “principal” in their work, & is “blackmail” involved?…  Why does Sarah keep eagerly contacting Steve by phone?…  What’s the “point” of the numerous so-called “DREAM” sequences with Steve?…

…  Sadly, there ISN’T much “point” in most of this film (despite a “twist” near the end):  It often comes across mostly as a quirky acting “exercise”, an “easy” way to make some “quick” money…

…  I can’t really call it a “comedy”, because it ISN’T really “funny” (tho it has some very mild comedic “elements” such as the “Flame Lord” played by Cho)…  The “drama” is weak & “convoluted”, at best… 

…  It’s not that it’s “horrible”:  the actors are decent & seem to be having some “FUN” with what they’re doing (probably more than you will WATCHING them, I’m afraid)… 

…  I think it’d be a “stretch” to describe this film as a parable about how even “losers” MIGHT get “lucky” in life:  the writing is so feeble & the “plot” so inherently THIN, I just had to wonder “WHY” it was made… 

…  Afterwards, my overall feeling was simply a resigned “Oh, well…”

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Review of film: "THE WARRIOR'S WAY" (about Ninjas in the American Old West)

Review of film:  “THE WARRIOR’S WAY”

This Korean film (done in English & created partly in New Zealand) is a “conglomeration” of numerous genres, quasi-plots & ideas from past movies...

...  Mash together elements of “Once Upon A Time In the West”with “Crouching Tiger” with “Carny” & “Shanghai Noon”, & what do you get?  This film, & --  to use a “technical” term -- a MISH-MOSH… 

…  As the movie starts, Ninja-like warrior Yang (played by DONG-GUN JANG) is fighting and, in a ballet-like massacre, dispatching all of his enemies from a certain clan, except for a baby that he lets live.  For some unclear reason, he decides to cross the ocean to a sand-infused town called Lode in the American Old West…

…  The town is a ramshackle gathering place for a bunch of “ALTERNATIVE” types:  the people there are close-minded, often unfriendly, but seemingly happy to have a bunch of CARNIVAL performers there because they keep trying to “promote” the settlement by working to construct a FERRIS WHEEL they hope will draw tourists.  (That thus places the time period sometime after 1893 when the first Ferris Wheel was constructed in Chicago for the Columbian Exposition World’s Fair there)…

…  The “leader” of the carnies is a “height-challenged” man (known then as a dwarf) called “Eight-Ball” (TONY COX). There are clowns, a mime, a bearded-lady, and other “typical” denizens of the Old West including a perpetually-drunk old guy who I think was named Billy (CARL BLAND)…

…  When Yang comes to town, he’s searching for an old friend named “Smiley”--  who (naturally) ran the LAUNDRY in town & has passed away.  He’s encouraged to learn how to take over his shop by a perky & pretty young woman named Lynne (KATE BOSWORTH), who also wants him to teach her how to handle KNIVES (& swords) in a non-culinary way…

…  The reason she wants to learn such a “martial art” is because members of her family had been killed by a bully named the Colonel (DANNY HUSTON) who frequently came by to ravage the town (& its females)...

...  It’d be easier (& probably more effective) to learn to SHOOT, but she for some reason prefers to learn knife-wielding (possibly because she wants to be a “YIN” to get her “closer” to Yang!)…

…  Being on the forefront of “technology”, Lynne regularly plays opera for Yang on an old GRAMOPHONE device that played flat disc records…  Bit-by-bit, the two grow closer, & they in time recruit townspeople to try to fight the Colonel who keeps assaulting the town…  Naturally, some other NINJAS appear “flying” thru the air towards the end of the “plot”…

…  Will the town be able to fight off the Colonel & his evil men?...  Whose “side” are the NINJAS on?...  Will the carnies and the Ferris wheel play a part in the story?... 

…  Will most of the “good guys” remain “standing” (or its equivalent) by the end of the film (which is narrated at times byGEOFFREY RUSH playing a character named Ron)?...  Will Yang & Lynne get “together” at the conclusion, or will things grow very “COLD” for one or both of them?...

…  There are some interesting “ideas” & some decent SPECIAL EFFECTS (from Weta & others) in this. Unfortunately, they DON’T “WORK” all that well “together”.  While Kate & Danny are “animated” in their roles, Dong-gun and various others are doggone “uncommunicative” a lot of the time, & there’s a bunch that comes across as “pointless” (& tedious)…

….  Mainly for its ATTEMPT at being “creative” (rather than for how “effective” it was), I’ll rate this film a 6 out of 10 stars (with a “caution” to not expect very much from it)…

Review: “PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2”

Review:  “PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2”

This movie is a “sequel” to the film with the same basic name that came out 3 years ago.  Before the advance screening I attended, there were some comments made by 3 of the Police stars of the A&E TV series Chicago Paranormal Detectives, who spoke of the previous film (which they’d enjoyed) & how at least one of their group is thoroly a “SKEPTIC” about the basic subject of “mystical” type  occurrences…


…  This new film is shot (in what purports to be Carslbad, CA) as if it was a sort of “documentary” (ala “Blair Witch”, etc.).  It’s what I call an “OLD-style” horror movie, in which “Things go BUMP (& THUD) in the night”, rather than the new “SERIAL killers” type where “Things go Crunch, SPLATTER & Splash at ALL times of the day”…

…  The main “returning” character is Katie (played by KATIE FEATHERSTON) as a once-“TROUBLED” young woman.  Her boyfriend is Micah (played by MICAH SLOAT).  In this version, an “unknown” actress plays her sister who, along with her husband (played by BRIAN BOLAND), has just had a new baby boy called Hunter.  There’s a teen-aged daughter from a “first” marriage, a Latina lady who plays their nanny, & a very “charismatic” & memorable German Shepherd dog…

…  After baby Hunter is brought to the large new home, “STRANGE” things keep happening in the house.  As “supernatural” phenomena keep occurring (such as odd movements by a pool-cleaning machine & various falling items & eerily-moving “smoke”), many of the people react in what to-me are very OUTLANDISH ways: 

…  The father is (typically) “OBLIVIOUS” to there being any importance to the bizarre happenings;  his wife is “alert” to the happenings, but is strangely “brave” and “silent” in the face of them;  the teen daughter does foolish things like opening DOORS to see what’s “causing” the troubles;  and, when things become increasingly “DANGEROUS” & “THREATENING” to all concerned, rather than do anything “LOGICAL” like seeing a psychologist or calling the POLICE, they instead contact an INCENSE-WAVER!...

…  There are some GOOD “creepy” special effects, such as movements regarding the baby & his mother --  but they’re comparatively “few & far between”.  The story is SLOW in getting started, the “Demon” element is pretty concealed, unexplored & ineffective, there’s a massive number of “HOLES” in the story (wherein people act stupidly and a number of things are NOT “explained”), & the DOG is perhaps the most consistently sensible, interesting & “heroic” of the group…

…  Overall, while the acting is passable, the movie is just “OK”, leaving me with an “EHH—“ response.  It’s not actively “bad”, but I’d rate it at just 6.00 out of 10 stars…